Coping with the relaxation of lockdown restrictions
Coping with the relaxation of lockdown restrictions
For many of us, the gradual easing of lockdown is an exciting opportunity to see friends again, play sports, resume contact with family (indoors from May 17th!) or get back to the activities and work that make us feel good about ourselves.
But there are many of us who can see such happy, much anticipated events as a challenge to our mental health.
For most of the last year or more, we have all been living with much tighter restrictions on where we can go, what we can do and who we can see. The relaxation of the rules will inevitably bring with it more work and social pressures that some will find stressful.
And for others still, the prospect of coming out of lockdown when debate is still live about the science supporting it can be a real worry. This may especially apply to those more vulnerable to the virus and those of us with mental health concerns.
Just as it took us time to find ways of coping during lockdown, we should also expect that it will take time to find our way back, reconnect with life and re-integrate with society. Things may not be quite the same as they were before.
All the mental health tips to cope with lockdown such as finding routines, staying connected, eating well and taking exercise apply just as much now as they did at the start of lockdown – arguably even more so as we remain in a period of high stress but with more demands on us.
Because our situations are unique to us, it is really important that we try not to judge ourselves harshly based on what other people are doing. Everybody is facing uncertainty and challenge – and we have no choice but to move through it as best we can, at our own pace and with our own coping mechanisms.
Fear and anxiety
Fear and anxiety are possibly the most common emotional responses any of us will feel as we approach the release from lockdown. Finding a way to pull ourselves through lockdown took a lot of our emotional energy and we may have found a place that lets us cope, and that we don’t want to leave behind just yet.
It’s important to acknowledge that these feelings are reasonable, and to expect them. It’s only by building up tolerance gently that we can move through these fears.
If possible, take things at your own pace – but try and challenge yourself to try something different each day or every couple of days. It’s very easy to allow the seclusion that was necessary in lockdown to become deliberate isolation as lockdown ends. Celebrate small wins (and big wins) and try and keep a note of what you are achieving.
Tips on coping with fear and anxiety:
- Control what can be controlled. There are a lot of things you can’t control that cause you fear and anxiety – but there are some things you can manage or plan for. Having an action plan for managing things you might find difficult can help.
- Pace yourself. Recognising that you need to go at the right pace for you is important. Don’t let others bully or pressure you into doing things you don’t want to – but try not to let that be an excuse not to push yourself, especially when it comes to reconnecting with friends safely, outside your home, when rules allow and the time is also right for you. It can be hard to let others move forward without you – maybe your child wants to see friends or needs to return to work, but you can’t. It’s important to discuss concerns with those close to you, but also to allow other people space to move at their own pace.
- Build up tolerance. Try doing something that challenges you every day, or every few days. Don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t go well but keep at it. Keep a note of things you’ve achieved, enjoyed or surprised yourself doing.
- Vary your routines. Try and vary your routines so that you see different people and encounter different situations. If one supermarket makes you nervous, try another. If a walk at one time of the day is very busy, try mixing walks at busy times with walks at quieter times.
- Talk to work. Post lockdown, many workplaces are offering new opportunities for more flexible working or working from home. If you are finding it hard to get to work, or do particular shifts or activities because of anxiety or fear, speak to your manager or a colleague you trust if that feels right. If you have or have had longer term mental health problems, you may be entitled to reasonable adjustments as a disabled person under the Equality Act. Even if you haven’t disclosed before, if it feels safe to do so now you might be able to benefit from doing so.
Coping with uncertainty
Focus on the present. You can only do your best with what you have today. With regulations changing frequently, and lots of conflicting media discussions, try and keep a focus on the moment. Mindfulness meditation is one way of bringing your mind back to the present moment.
Bring things that are certain back into focus. Whilst a lot of things are uncertain at the moment, there are also things to be hopeful about. Try to record and appreciate good things as they happen. Try and take opportunities to reset and relax.
Talk to people you trust. It’s important to talk about how you feel. Don’t dismiss your concerns or judge yourself too harshly. You may also be able to find your tribe online, but try and get outside perspectives too.
Picking up social lives
As we move out of lockdown it’s going to be possible to start picking up our social lives again. Some of us are desperate to do so – but others will be nervous about doing so and going back into pubs and restaurants – or unable to do so because of their situations.
If you are part of a social group doing an activity together, try and plan ways for people who aren’t ready for face to face meetings to still take part.
We may have become comfortable in our own space and with our own company in lockdown – it’s been intense in all sorts of ways and we might really have to push ourselves to reconnect with people and overcome initial awkwardness. Whether it’s knowing how to insist on social distancing with friends or relatives, knowing where you have to wear a mask, or feeling odd not stopping to chat in the street many of us are keen to get it right, and worried about slipping up. It’s all new – and doing your best to follow the rules is good enough for most situations.
That also goes for our children’s friendships – many children have been desperate to see friends, but all families are making sense of the changes. Going back to school will bring new pressures and it’s important to make an extra effort to support our children getting back into the school routine and picking up friendships.
If we are shielding or in a vulnerable group, it’s likely that as others around us start to emerge from lockdown and start to do things that we miss, we may feel more isolated and less able to resist pressure to reduce lockdown measures. There’s a real risk that employers, schools businesses and friends and family will be less able to relate and support as the lockdown releases for others.
Remember that rules and guidelines vary depending on who you are and where you live. You can find more detailed tips on what you can do and what the current limitations here.
Looking after children and family
During lockdown, those of us with caring responsibilities have supported our families. For parents and carers, returning to work is likely to provide a distance that might be much welcomed and needed – but also prove challenging emotionally when family closeness has been such a support to so many during lockdown.
When children went back to school there was a change in routine and, in the short-term, more disruption for parents.
A similar situation arises for unpaid carers: perhaps the physical or mental health of the person they care for has deteriorated during lockdown and their own needs have changed. This will mean new assessments and changes in service provision.
Grief is something many of us will have experienced during the lockdown. Many people will have faced the loss of someone close during these past months, and with attendance at funerals restricted, and non-socially distanced company only very recently available to very specific groups, this has been doubly hard.
As we start to move out of lockdown it will be possible to see people again, and to provide support to those close to us who have been bereaved, although at the moment this must be socially distanced and cannot involve a hug – unless you are a single parent with children aged under 18, or a person living alone, who has formed a ‘bubble’ with one other household.